The Relish

I was a menace on the Pickleball courts yesterday morning. Following Saturday’s shitty showing, this was what I’m dubbing “motherfucker Monday.” I felt like I was in total control of what I was doing. I rediscovered the serve that was sending people backwards into the fence. I was drinking consistently over the net with good angles. I was holding my own against some of the stronger players at the park. It was awesome.

CB

There’s a guy at the courts whom we will simply call “CB” for now. Here’s what it feels like playing as CB’s partner: “son, I’m ashamed to be your father.” There you go. You’re always disappointing him. I’ve played with him numerous times where I just left feeling like a total liability, and I’m not alone in this.

He’s actually a pretty fun guy off the court. He likes to chum it up with people by way of gentle self-deprecating jokes. I find I can always trust someone who is prone to self-deprecation. I think he’s in his early seventies, but seems really healthy. He moves well, and is a rock-solid player albeit a little on the crazy side. He’ll yell and shit. Not at you, necessarily, but mostly at himself. IF he yells at you, which I’ve seen/heard him do, he always apologizes and then like…does a 180. He’ll stop acting like an embarrassed father and be an actual fun guy to play with.

Anyways, I was his partner yesterday and we faced the tandem of:

PLAYER 1: Some half-decent rec player, firmly in the 2.5-3.0 range

PLAYER 2: USA Pickleball gear, gnarly serve, backpack paddle case, 3.5+ no doubt

Spanked. That. Ass.

CB and I were fucking Brady and Moss with the ’07 Patriots. Batman and Robin. Jules and Vincent. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Bert and motherfucking Ernie, baby.

We started 0-5 when player 2 was still on the first serve, but man…I took the reigns and we went 4-5-1, then CB took over and we ended up 6-5-2…on the fifth or sixth point and I hit a gnarly-ass slam right in the sweet spot between them where neither one had a snowball’s chance in hell. “Elliot! Killer shot!” said one of the Challenge Court bros. We ended up winning like 11-8, and CB was loving it.

Made my morning.

Oh, so now you’re hot shit again and you’re sticking with the Costco Selkirk, huh?

No. I’m still saving up for the new one. Right now I’m thinking the Selkirk LUXX Control Air Infinigrit. It’s $280. Could I go for a more middle-of-the-pack one? Sure. But again, I’m looking for a control paddle and this one seems awesome. Plus I’m saving up for it responsibly with patience, so…I’ll get wtf I want.

Four posts in, time to start juicing up the site a bit

Four posts in, time to start juicing up the site a bit.

Maybe today I’ll toy around with a new layout. Maybe a new page or two? Start implementing the Newsletter feature? Maybe try and get a mf or two to subscribe? IDK. I’m brainstorming some ideas for the different pages, etc…aaand my cat is now laying in an impossible position on my lap. She’s too cute to move.

Out!